the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
