It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
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