oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize
