ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
