no, he came in my armpit
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
