the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
