Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (416): View more from Ontario

  Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat. http://tfl.nu/ucz3
  Replies (47) Good night (820) Bad night (6816)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards? http://tfl.nu/ktqz
  Replies (67) Good night (17237) Bad night (2025)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People http://tfl.nu/8x4z
  Replies (14) Good night (4510) Bad night (695)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue http://tfl.nu/hmo2
  Replies (23) Good night (8146) Bad night (725)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE http://tfl.nu/5phb
  Replies (184) Good night (52462) Bad night (2565)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking http://tfl.nu/q4p2
  Replies (2) Good night (2056) Bad night (983)
• Favorite

  (409): View more from Texas

  I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (409): I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree http://tfl.nu/saof
  Replies (4) Good night (2602) Bad night (1124)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.

  (805): View more from California

  What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated. (805): What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes. http://tfl.nu/bk6e
  Replies (6) Good night (2930) Bad night (812)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that. http://tfl.nu/41po
  Replies (3) Good night (2130) Bad night (700)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right? http://tfl.nu/zwo3
  Replies (15) Good night (2859) Bad night (1207)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right? http://tfl.nu/yok0
  Replies (10) Good night (1408) Bad night (572)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises http://tfl.nu/gq7h
  Replies (3) Good night (873) Bad night (437)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (772): I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have? http://tfl.nu/a8zx
  Replies (14) Good night (1594) Bad night (466)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT! http://tfl.nu/daki
  Replies (4) Good night (1678) Bad night (610)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (774): Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland http://tfl.nu/km8l
  Replies (1) Good night (281) Bad night (570)

Randomize