I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.