Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.