I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music