yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize