roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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