the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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