Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
The air was thick with penises
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Randomize
