What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
