so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
