spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
