I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
