nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
