Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
This couple is walking their pig around campus
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
