I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Randomize
