5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
