TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
