This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
