i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
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I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
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I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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