Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize