she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
