Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
