I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
