; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize