Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
