obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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