I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
handjob tips. give me some.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
