she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize