So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Your topless pictures make me question reality
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
