what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
