sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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