Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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