I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
