is your mom at the bar?
Jerry, you need to find god
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
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