All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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