why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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