Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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