I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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