I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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