We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
