Please, let me fuck your mom
Sober January is a disaster.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
