i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
