I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
