I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
