where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
