Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
