Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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