tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You are the jesus of drinking
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
