she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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