I am puke
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize