DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
