he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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