I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
