no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
