Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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