and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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