i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
