so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
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and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
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When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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