JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize