if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I think we might need a safe word for this...
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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