I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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